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Lucian Archives: Irina Spasky's Istanbul Report

To: Vikram Kabra

From: Irina Spasky

Re: The Hagia Sophia

November 5, 2000

Friday night I flew to Turkey and checked into Taksim Hotel in Istanbul. All equipment was in my room as promised, but the grappling hook was of bad quality. Punish the person responsible.

I left Taksim Hotel at 2:08 am, and found only two men guarding the Hagia Sophia museum entrance. One I handled with the nail injector in my smallest finger. The other was fast moving, but a smack to his head proved effective. He did not bother me again.

Inside the museum, they had a laser security system. I found it easy to get past and VERY boring.

Using the inferior grappling hook, I was soon at the top of the Hagia Sophia dome. I explored each of the forty windows cut into the dome, and each of the mosaics. Each one. For this, I deserve a special commendation.

I discovered nothing. Nothing.

I do not like to waste time in this manner. I left the Hagia Sophia, and kicked the guards on my way out. I regret they were unconscious and did not feel it.

Next time, I request a better mission.

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