Tracking Grace Cahill
To: Lucian Leadership
From: Arkady Protopopov, Transportation Coordinator
Subject: Transportation Report on Grace Cahill/Request for Funds
May 7, 1983
Our operatives have been trailing Grace Cahill constantly for the past two years. In April '81 we spotted her small plane on our radar screens as she left Madagascar from a secret airstrip on the central plateau. We traced her to Tunisia, where she ditched the plane and crossed the Sahara on a camel. She resurfaced on a speedboat in the Adriatic Sea, landing in Split and heading from there by train through Eastern Europe to Leningrad. After several days of chasing Russian taxis over the canals of that city, we picked her up again in Moscow, where she boarded the Trans-Siberian Railroad headed east. She was next spotted crossing the Siberian steppes on a snowmobile. She took a helicopter over the Bering Strait to Alaska, headed south by dogsled to Kodiak, where she boarded a tanker bound for Hawaii. As of this morning, she is surfing off Oahu. I wouldn't be surprised if she took the Space Shuttle to Venus next. The woman changes modes of transportation more often than she changes clothes.
The Lucian Supply Office should be aware that in order to continue tracking Grace Cahill at this rate, our agents will need access to the following vehicles:
Dogsleds (and dogs)
Hot air balloons
Speedboats and water skis
Downhill skis (and appropriate skiwear)
We are also requesting additional funding to cover unexpected expenses, such as camel food. Grace Cahill can't outlast us forever—we're Lucians, after all—but an infusion of cash would be a big help. It's all very well for the Leadership to lunch on caviar every day, but your agents in the field are suffering for want of necessities like sunscreen, boating shoes, and fashionable driving gloves. Thank you.